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oh please.


i wish for HIM
i wish for love
Buy me food and i will love you to the bits!
I want to tour around the world :]
I want to play with snow!

tagboard.


Links.

My hi5
Babe
Candice
Claudice
Kelvin
Melanie
May
Jaspreet
Ting
Samuel
Valerie
Tiffanie

muchthanks.
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Archives:
June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 February 2009 March 2009 June 2009 July 2009 December 2009 January 2010
heart. ♥

IMBRIDGET.BLOGSPOT.COM

Hello. My name is BRIDGET.
Give me presents! On Dec 28 :D
I study in EIS, haha.
I in love with this world and my life! ;]
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. D':
I dance, i dont sing, i dance more and i eat.

"LOVE is the slowest form of suicide"

eQs21, Chocolate Kiss, Pognon, JZZ, Salt.Garlic :)
CLASS OF 2011 ♥.

2010-01-08!
HandWritten on; 00:42

คิดถึง อีกแล้ว ให้ตายสิ,, อยุ่คนเดียว แล้วเป้นงี้ทุกที.. ><

รุ้มั้ย,, อยากโทหา อยากคุยด้วย อยากไปหมด แต่ก้ไม่เคยได้
TT เสียใจนะ แต่ทำอะไรไม่ได้ เพราะ เป้นแค่ทางเลือก ไม่ใชทางที่เค้าเลือก

always an option.. not your choice

2009-12-10!
HandWritten on; 11:02

ok so.. hehe SUPER DUPER LONG TIME since my last update
im fine, so fine right now
been through ups and downs over and over, right now is probably the up side :D

im happy being alone
im happy with my friends
i don't need a boy to make me happy lol
i just might probably want one XD

SPORTSDAY just passed, what a blast
i JRs
1st place overall sports
1st place cheerleading dance! woo hooo
couldn't have it any way better


I'm having a birthday party this year : )
dec 27, at Tivoli hotel bkk
excited much! hahahaha i imagine it being a blast
high end food and dancing ><
can't wait already

off to dance practice now :D
loves

2009-07-29!
HandWritten on; 14:52

A year of summer has pass since Supercamp
miss it much.

This summer is so much more boring compared to last.
I miss SG, i miss SUPERCAMP!
wanna go back 'n visit.

If u ask me what i've been doing all summer...
haha
SAT and DANCING
ofcourse SAT ain't half as interesting as dancing, but whatever.

I got lotsa new friends from dancing like the whole crew of 'IZOLATE'
they're nice and all
but like EVERYTIME
people come and GO~
so i guess ending of summer is like their 'go' time now
i mean we were close and all, i swear there's like this week or two
that we meet up EVERYDAY 'n like talk all the time, it was nice :D
then again maybe now it's REALITY time and everyone goes back to school
and back to their old life, and yaddayaddaydda
... i wish someone sometime somewhere would STICK
but i should just put it behind shant i? lol

Dancing has become.. LIFE to me
like, how do i stop??
and with the o-so-overwhelming-support, i can't imagine a time where it has to come to an end
it's so much fun, and so much entertaining blehhh i love it to bits
esp the on-stage feeling ;] AWESOME MUCH.



ESCH!
bored much. pimples growing AHAHHAAHAHAHA

2009-06-04!
HandWritten on; 11:59


Back again with another summer.
BORINGGGGG

the passing three months have been... over the top, i must say
thanks to jzz and pognon for that :D
i had lots of fun, and as much as it's exhausting, awesome (thai) summer
but now that my actual summer vacation is here, i'm too free...
everyone is back in school now, and im here. alone. sitting here full with boredome.


UGHHHHHHH !

well..
I've had dance competitions and shows for every week since march, and it's awesome

kills me everytime I have to wake up early 'n stuff like that
kills me to hv to go to practice like three times a week after school
but kills if there's no practice or no dance shows hahaha
I miss it.


oh well.. the last competition is coming up, and i guess we can officially call it a break
both for jzz and pognon
everyone is busy with schooling, cuz u know, most of em is a freshy in college.
so... im going to leave w/ a bang hahahahaa


FINAL ROUND DANCE BATTLE AT NATIONAL STADIUM here we come!

:D

(me at 2nd round Dance Battle @ national stadium)

POGNON fightinggggg~

(pognon, 2nd round Dance Battle @ National Stadium)

final round is sure going to be hard, lemme tell you.
we drawed 'Way To Go' and oh well.. it aint' easy to dance to that song i must say.
But we'll try out best :D
Moving on.. hahaha
i have a new crush (sorta)
i kinda hv to accept being able to be only his fanclub, and not being able to cut away the word club out from that word.
He's too popular honestly, what do i have to make him interested..
D:
yeah.. well i'll just settle with that i guess lol
and ima take picture w/ him every chance i get
which in these pass months.. well lets say i got lotsa chances
'n i can open a collection by now haha
here's the latest.


p'max :D

haha i put a smile behind his name everytime
cuz well. he makes me smile :]

ps., lost my phone D: got LG's ice-cream now, :] it's cute 'n all, but i miss my old phone~


2009-03-22!
HandWritten on; 19:59

AH.. im so tired of everything.

My him's away right now, dont miss him as much as i thought i would
maybe it's because im dancing all the time, probably so.

Cried last thursday. First time of that day was cuz of 'him' yeah = =. Found out he was hurting himself with some negative things im not going to mention, and on a school day, so i went ds;lghdaflkhgoeihgylkdfhglds and just cried
ofcourse, cuz i worry about him so much, BECAUSE I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HIM.
probably more than he cares about himself. HUH - -* im so sick and tired of that...

anyways, faught with mom. we've been fighting much lately = =, tired of that, too.

Cover. Dance dance dance.
Thursday after school, practice w/ friends in school, and then cheer realize and thennnn leave.
Friday renew my american passport and then rush to dance practice somewhere goddamn far away from where i live, SO SO TIRED.
hitoe slept over w/ ammy, had fun! i liked that hahahaha ;]
Saturday dance practice at that goddamn far place again, jzz forced "only look at me" routine all in once into me in like less that an hour. = =" TIREd.
continue practice at behind chula book center or something something until like 6 something. SUPER TIRED.
TODAY, sunday. wake up extra early to go wait alone at pata pinklao for parts of jzz that were suppose to meet me there but came late, but it's understandable, one of em is supa sick.
then put on make up 'n bla bla bla rush to siam to find a unacceptable hot stage right in the middle of siam and the sun.
HOT LIKE HELL. can't stand it.

not much people = = v. boringg
stood there all day until like 5.30, dance twice, tired and it's soooooo hot. got all frustrated and stuff
and then came home and feel sick and tired of EVERYTHING
i just wanna disappear hahahahaha

i dont really know why, but i just wanna turn away from everything
sort of have a pause on my life right now and just get away from everything.
but can't happen, skool again tmr. NO HIM.
uhhuh... yeah so boring ofcourse, even if there's a field trip
not excited tho lol

have another audition for jzz, hello korea tuesday = =
hope i dont have to get into another fight with my mom to try to go. HUHHHHH
and then i wanna go partayyy on thursday, hopefully I can. so so tired now TT

damn.

2009-03-12!
HandWritten on; 21:25

"Love is the slowest form of suicide" -Babe. <3


What can i say? I'm worried, can't help it right??

I know he's addicted to his friends, and I know I have no say about whatsoever he does with his life because obviously WHAT AM I? How do i even matter in the tiniest bit to him anyways?
He wouldn't give a damn.

But I still worry.

He might not care about his health, but I care for him. Thing is i really dont know what to do.. I dont like him doing stuff like that, hurting himself, but who am I to say, im nothing to him.

'I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night'

it's true you know... i really have the hardest time trying to get him off my mind...


I dont know.. im just worried, i want him to CARE
not about me ofcourse, cuz i dont expect ANYTHING out of him... UNCONDITIONAL right...
but i want him to CARE about himself, love himself more... after all what's so hard to love about him right? I mean even I can't stop myself... XD



All im saying is... (eventho i know he never enters my blog but u know. just in case.) IF YOU KNOW URSELF AND EVER EVER READ THIS!

Stop w/ the 'magical' thingii ur smoking, it's not so magical u know...
I dont mind the drinking, understand it, but hv a limit would ya?!
Smoking is BAD. I dont like guys who smoke, obviously tho ur an exception.
DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I DONT LIKE IT.


bla bla bla i can go on and on and on.
and there is so much more i want to say, but again who am i, who is he, WHAT ARE WE?
ofcourse, NOTHING.






so all im going to do is complain in my blog.
and wishing he realizes what's good for him, and start caring more...

(:





I still wouldn't use love tho for what I'm feeling
either it's extreme LUST, or it's extreme PASSION.
love is still too strong.

but anyways, whatever it is, it is STRONG.


and i was just thinking you know... maybe when it approaches the day he's leaving, I'd write him something.
not shabby stuff like poems 'n all... maybe a half diary half message to him
something like n'moji wrote for alex perhaps (?)
and that'd be the last thing i give him... :)








"We all are born alone, and we die alone. So why not be able to live alone?"
Love yourself.



x

2009-03-09!
HandWritten on; 22:04

There's a thin line between love and hate... right now I don't know where I stand.

You'd think it would hurt less to be on the love side of that line, but WRONG
because it hurts so much more when you feel that you hate him but you keep looking back to that thin line and you find urself frozen trying to cross the line because you can never remove your leg from the side that is said to be 'love'

WTH.

and then when you notice yourself again
you're retracting yourself back.

its like calories blah blah's song, เกลียดเทอไม่ลง because it is exactly that way.





THEY WERE LOWLIFE JERKS and giving a reason that they're DRUNK doesn't make it okay. DOES BEING DRUNK MEAN YOU CAN USE DISGUSTING WORDS AND LAUGH OVER IT AND ACT LIKE A TOTAL DICKHEAD, and it'll be OKAY??

UH, NO!

hell no.

which is probably why i hate them so much right now.
how disgusting can a person be!




and yet... eventhough i didn't say so, but i feel like i forgive HIM.

PATHETIC BRIDGET.















HOW DO I JUSTIFY MYSELF.







..because you make me feel that it's easier to cry than to lift up the corners of my mouth and smile. damn.

2009-03-07!
HandWritten on; 22:41

..and so as i sat in the taxi looking out the window
my eyes felt like they were burning.

actually they still do...


I NEED SUPERCAMP SUPPORT.
but hell.. feels like no way ima get any here in bkk. D':




ok..



one point in the taxi i burried my face in to my strawberry hangkerchief and i couldn't really tell if there was tears coming out of my eyes or not.
I just sobbed. can't breathe. can't understand a thing.

pulled out my soaked hangkerchier, realized there was indeed tears and burried my face in it again.



WHY?

i asked myself that too, apparently the answer is
I DONT KNOW.


stress?
him?
frustration?
misunderstandings?
haunted by old memories?

probably all of that in one.




but i still dont know why.








Taxi driver stared. don't blame him, who wouldn't right?
he seemed... sympathetic tho.. = ="
and i feel pathetic. poor taxi driver lol

alex slept, probably didn't realize a thing by the time we reach home and he woke up.
my eyes were pretty dry by then, didn't want my mother asking why too, i can't even answer myself, how to answer her?


it's her birthday tomorrow. last thing she wants would be me crying for not particular identifiable reason...
i hate myself. -*-







i hate crying.
i hate asking but never getting an answer.
i hate the torture im going thru.
i hate waking up in the morning.
i hate having to smile when people ask why i look so sad.
i hate being sad.
i hate looking sad.
i hate that i even involve myself in any sadness.
i hate this part of life.




but one day it'll pass right?
one day i'll be able to sit in a taxi and be sane.
ONE DAY i'LL CHANGE. :)

hopefully it's soon lol

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